Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Cyprian Is Nyakundi

Politics

WHY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY SHOULD BE ABOLISHED

beautiful-women-photography

Gender equality is something I hope never happens because if women and men were ever to be equal it will take all the interest out of shopping. If women hate being seen as sex objects why do they go to such extreme lengths to ensure they are?

Okay let’s start at the bottom, er, feet.

WOMAN: Uncomfortable open-toed high heels displaying fastidiously manicured nails, painted red of course and devoid of fungus.
BLOKE: Thongs with hairy splayed toes.

WOMAN: Clean shaven moisturised legs that appear to go all the way up her armpits with enough flesh showing to drive you nuts.
BLOKE: Shorts with huge pockets, revealing hairy calves.

WOMAN: A back bottom that doesn’t fart, with each yummy cheek moving in tantalising reciprocal motion without panty lines.
BLOKE: Most of his undies showing and lifts one leg off the ground to let his mates cop an explosive belly-full of flatulence.

WOMAN: A beautifully manicured front bottom with either a cute little landing strip or a “come and get me” Brazilian below a little blue butterfly.
BLOKE: An unkempt scrotum attractive only to nits.

WOMAN: A flat little stomach devoid of hair and smothered in a dozen different lotions.
BLOKE: A competition as to who has the best beer gut.

WOMAN: Tits to die for with a top displaying an hypnotic cleavage and noticeable, temperature-regulated nipples.
BLOKE: Stained Tshirt.

WOMAN: An exquisitely long neck leading to perfectly shaped ears from which diamond pendants dangle.
BLOKE: Unshaven double chin.

WOMAN: A mouth with moistened lips that lead a bloke to naughty thoughts… painted red of course to indicate arousal.
BLOKE: A cigarette holder.

WOMAN: Sculptured cheek bones brushed with rouge (hmmm, there’s that colour again) and exuding a head-spinning pheramonal fragrance.
BLOKE: A fetid beard hiding pimples and blackheads.

WOMAN: Come-to-bed eyes with pastel eyeshadow and long eyelashes that bat better than Bradman.
BLOKE: Both still bloodshot from last night.

WOMAN: Silky shampooed hair, framing a beautiful face.
BLOKE: It either looks like a pelican nest or is bald.

WOMAN: Flawless spidery fingers tipped with long red nails ready to dig furrows into your back at passion’s peak.
BLOKE: Dirty nails.

So it’s got me stuffed why women want equality, haven’t they noticed there is no International Blokes’ Day?

Pickering 


Would you like to get published on this Popular Blog? You can now email Cyprian Nyakundi any breaking news, Exposes, story ideas, human interest articles or interesting videos on: [email protected] Videos and pictures can be sent to +254 710 280 973 on WhatsApp, Signal and Telegram.


Comments

comments

Click to comment

Facebook

You May Also Like

News

*Editor’s Note: This open letter to Safaricom has been published as received. No redactions have taken place to avoid legal issues pending a court...

News

This is an intervention for Victoria Rubadiri so as to help her revert back to factory settings. We notice your slow drift away into...

News

Caption : Edwin Kigen Who was Murdered in Madaraka Estate. We demand for answers from Boinnet ! Another young man may have been brutally assaulted and...

News

CAPTION: Reformed street-urchins like this lot are dominating the airwaves and being allowed to spread the disease of anti-intellectualism.  As you may have all...

Copyright © 2020 Cyprian Is Nyakundi.