This past week, the question “Why didn’t Jesus have any female disciples” was trending on Twitter as social media users from across Africa gave out hilarious scenarios of how things would have been had Jesus recruited female disciples.
Many felt that female disciples would have been extremely problematic and would’ve been a huge impediment to his mission of spreading the gospel.
We’ve sampled a few responses below.
female disciples wangesumbua yesu achizi????????
— Tallam (@evanstallam) April 5, 2019
Toffee said: Female disciples would be like Jeez, Jesus si you touch away my acne?
Brownie M said: Njeri angeolewa na Judas juu ya hiyo 30 bob.
Braam said: “Master tubuyie…” kila saa na Yesu hakua na kakitu.
Vincie said: Wangekua wanaambia Yesu “If you really care about us, then introduce us to your father.”
Miss Koki said: Jesus: Kesho tukutane pale Jerusalem.
Female disciples: Tutumie fare.
Mikey The Rapper said: Wange-spread moshene badala ya scripture.
Airhcam said: They’d be telling Jesus “Aya bas. Turn hii kijiti ikuwe lipstick.”
Francis Muiga said: Wange-insist Yesu atumie uber badala ya punda.
Karanja Kimani said: Apo kwa turning water into wine, most female disciples wange-mshow wanataka Guarana au Tusker Cider.
Emma Ntinyari said: At the end of the crusades all the female disciples would not be talking to each other juu ya ma mood swings.
Kiprono said: Ati “Jesus, Goliath ananiangalia vibaya na hii wig.”
Village Lad said: Last supper wangekataa kukula mkate. “Hey Jesus, where our fries at? We need chicken too.”
Agwata Chanai said: Day one of the 40 days of fasting in wilderness, “Mwambie tunaskia njaa.”
Mike said: Ati “Leo ni Friday aki Yesu wewe… Si u turn hii maji ikue wine?”
Patrick said: Ati “Zdady si tumekula unleavened bread sana, si leo utushtue na pizza?”
Black Butterfly said: Jesus tunataka wine ya kusaidia digestion.
Edna said: The female disciples would be like, “Smh, na kwani hii tu nguo moja ndio uko nayo? Si tupitie toi tukutafutie robe zingine? Drip ni muhimu budaaa.”
Randiki said: Wangekuwa wanaambia Yesu, “Aki imagine lamps zetu zinaisha mafuta aki si ututumie kakitu? Na frankincense ya kutoa.”
Maliks said: JC, nisaidie namba ya Judas anikamie na pizza akikam.
David Gachie said: Yesu leo sidhani kaa nitamake twende Pool of Siloam juu sina swimming costume.
Kagiri said: Wangekuwa wanakosa kueda mission ati wako na chama.
Gachucha said: Hawa wangedai maji ibadilshwe iwe pombe kila siku.
Chris said: Jesus: Twende Crusade Cana.
Female Disciples: “Mwambie atumanishe UberDonkey hatuwezi jav”
Add yours in the comments section.
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