Cyprian Is Nyakundi
Politics

Hello FLORK. Have You Seen FLOTUS’s Timeline? Time To Say Goodbye To Your Stupid Marathon.

timeline

This is a message to the First Lady of the Republic of Kenya (FLORK) Margaret Kenyatta. The seat you occupy is very critical and important. It’s not an opportunity to raise money or reward St. Mary’s classmates like your husband, but an opportunity to use your influence to shine light on causes and ventures that serve purpose and humanity.

Dear FLORK, you need not be convinced by the numbskulls that work for you that everything about this life surrounds the re-election of your husband. You also have a legacy to maintain. You could run for President like Hilary, many years from now…(ok I was just kidding…gotcha!).

Anyways, we intentionally directed you to Michelle Obama’s Timeline on Twitter for you to have a rough idea on projects and initiatives you can use your influence to highlight, promote and elevate. You don’t have to be selfish and only engage in projects that have an overall benefit to the Kenyatta family. That Mama-Ngina gene of only identifying with those that benefit her long-term objectives, is the cause of Kenya’s problems today.

You could use your influence to promote art teaching in schools (not just the bourgeois ones that will be proposed to you). You could invite innovative students to exhibit their creations at StateHouse. You could also promote health & fitness in the curriculum so as to shift focus from your annual feminist-convention, to a more consistent program targeting new generations. You can realight your priorities to promote gifted and exceptional students in various fields. These interventions don’t even require money, just your time.

But we know you’re mixed race, so half of you perhaps doesn’t really identify with normal Kenyans. A marathon that runs round a city where the majority of the population walks to work and lives on less than a dollar a day, doesn’t quite have an impact. No wonder your office cannot generate statistics or quantify benefits of Beyond Zero, other than ofcourse amount of money raised and number selfies taken.

This whole raising money thing is distateful especially coming at a time when your husband’s cronies have obliterated state coffers due to their insatiable greed and desire to become as wealthy as your family. And your husband is only happy to turn a blind eye because it eases pressure on historical-injustices that your family is associated with like land-grabbing, poaching, etc.

In this regard, we humbly request you to visit Michelle Obama’s Timeline and witness the beautiful work she is doing especially with the kids, that will have a long-term benefit to the future of the United States. Let’s get them while they are still young, instead of sending moronic imbeciles like Ezekiel Mutua to ban “Project X” for mature and grown-ups, as if he’s their father.

Alternatively you could ignore our advise and continue chilling in StateHouse, and occasionally mingling with other 1st Ladies. Your choice.



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